


it's not forever

by cherrychoke



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Fluff, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24769516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrychoke/pseuds/cherrychoke
Summary: sometimes, chansook ends up in terrible spirals but seyeon knows how to help her girlfriend out.
Relationships: Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol
Kudos: 12





	it's not forever

“You seem upset,” Seyeon only glances back at her girlfriend, notices just how much she’s hunched over the laptop, and focuses back on making the milkshake. Seyeon isn’t wearing any bra under her t-shirt and sweatpants, and Chansook is wearing her hoodie with shorts, looking like a cute cocoon despite the frown on her face.

“Do you want to talk about, baby?”   


Chansook only makes a noise in response. It’s neither a yes nor a no, but Seyeon understands a lot from it. She’s feeling bad about her work again, because that’s something artists suffer from and she understands that it’s a bad, bad feeling.

“It’s like,” Chansook’s voice breaks. Seyeon hears the laptop being closed, hears Chansook walk up to her, stay right behind her. She closes the cap of the blender and gestures for her girlfriend’s hands. She places both of them on her waist, and they complete the circle by themselves. Chansook’s chin rests on her shoulder. “Nobody wants anything extensive from me, just something small here and there.”

Seyeon pats her hand for comfort, starts the blender as Chansook continues to talk about what she’s feeling.

She feels a little bad that she doesn’t fully understand what Chansook means. Her girlfriend talks about how all she’s been getting is small commissions — “I’m grateful for them, seriously, but—” — and it doesn’t help to know others’ get bigger ones.

“It makes me feel like all I’m good at is small art work,” She mutters into Seyeon’s shoulder. Seyeon feels a warm drop of water, and she stops the blender instantly. Turning around, she wraps her arms around Chansook, pulls her into a hug. “Like I’m not worth something big.”

“That’s not true,” Seyeon mutters, but Chansook is already crying her heart out. She wants to fight everyone and everything that made her girlfriend feel like this, she doesn’t deserve it. “I’m sorry you’re feeling like this, baby.”

She switches the blender off completely before gently bringing Chansook back into their ‘living room’. They live in a dorm, everything is more ‘area’ than a ‘room’ but they like to call it a room anyway. It makes things easier overall.

Their beds are pushed against each other, even though they end separating just a little because Seyeon has the habit to dig into any place that’s warm at night. She makes Chansook sit with her back against the wall, pushes the laptop towards her bed and sits cross-legged in front of her girlfriend.

It’s their final year, Chansook doesn’t deserve to feel this about the only thing she’s the most confident in. She’s confident in all the things she does, but she has a special connection towards making art.

“Did you check others’ accounts?” She asks, a small frown on her lips. It’s happened before, it’s not nice seeing her girlfriend sob into her hands because of the horrible feeling. Chansook shakes her head, a pout on her lips as she stares at her hands, only glancing at her girlfriend once. Seyeon reaches out and holds her fidgeting hands. “Do you want to rant more or want me to distract you?”

Her shoulders slump further. Poor baby. “I don’t know.”

Seyeon shrugs. That just means they’ll cuddle and talk about something else until Chansook is feeling better. She pulls the blankets closer as she lies on her side, horizontal to the bed, and covers up her lower body with it. She pats the space next to her. “Let’s cuddle.”

Chansook pulls her hood down, revealing a perfect, unruined ponytail. She’s no longer frowning or pouting sadly like before, so that’s a start.

Her head is tucked under Seyeon’s chin, nose against her throat, both arms folded and snuggled between their bodies, hands immediately on Seyeon’s boobs.

“Titties,” Chansook whispers. “My only form of comfort.”

It makes both of them giggle like children. Seyeon throws her leg around her girlfriend’s thighs, pulls her closer, and presses a kiss on her forehead. “Me and you, baby.”

They stay like that for a couple of minutes, Seyeon almost falls asleep from the silence, but she feels Chansook murmur something against her collarbone.

“Hm?” She strokes Chansook’s back once. “Did you say something?”

“I said,” Chansook looks up at her, looking so pretty and cute and adorable, Seyeon leans down and presses a kiss on her lips. “That I’m feeling better.”

“The power of titties,” Seyeon nods, chuckles at herself. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Yeah,” Chansook chuckles too, but it dies too quickly for her normal laugh. “It’s starting to feel using, making art. Because it’s the only form of art I know, it’s been 70% of my life, I don’t know what I’ll do if I start hating it so much.”

“You hate it?” Seyeon frowns. She moves a little away from the warmth between them, stares at Chansook who struggles to maintain eye contact. “Really?”

“I think so.” Chansook whimpers suddenly, covering her face with her hands. “It feels like I’m doing it only because that’s the only way of expression I know.”

“Oh sweetheart,” She holds her tighter, closer, presses a kiss on her forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

She holds her close while she cries, sobbing and shuddering in breaths as she tries to control her feelings. This can’t be good, Seyeon can’t help but think, especially since Chansook’s mental health isn’t good in the first place.

“When is your next meeting with your therapist?” Seyeon caresses Chansook’s cheek, wipes the wetness away. “Maybe you should talk about it to her.”

“I will,” Chansook nods. “I don’t think I hate it, but I’m not happy with it either.”

“Should I make you some coffee?”

Chansook nods again. They both move to the kitchen, Chansook clings onto Seyeon’s back like a koala as she uses instant coffee with hot water.

“I’ll be okay soon.” Chansook mutters. Seyeon doesn’t reply, she knows her girlfriend is just talking to herself about it. “Right?”

“Yeah,” Seyeon turns around a little, pecks Chansook’s lips. “You’ll be okay soon. This feeling isn’t permanent.”

Chansook smiles a little. “That’s nice to hear.”

**Author's Note:**

> being an artist (with any form of art) is difficult ;;;;;; i hope you liked this~ please let me know if you do~


End file.
